I always thought two great things about acting and reading/writing was the chance to get to know myself better and the chance to explore human nature in general. Then once I’d been doing both for twenty-plus years I realized being able to do those wasn’t always something I was going to enjoy. I can work to change things about myself, for sure. The task can be a rough road to hoe, but it can be done. That isn’t the case with human nature, with humanity in general. The more I see, the more I explore, the more I pay attention to what has gone on before and what is going on now… The old adage rings truer than almost anything else ever I’ve read or heard uttered:
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
It was almost crushing when I realized that was the case. Time, of course, has done its work, and I’m at peace with the realization, years later. It led to a certain level of contentment and of determination about my life, not to mention an amount of freedom and openness I hadn’t felt since I was a kid. This topic wants to be a larger post, but this is going to have to do for now, just a section in another. There’s a lot swirling about in the ol’ noggin about it, and it’s going to need some time to gel. I just wanted to start on it a bit, just to get things going.
There’s a Lovecraftian script in my head somewhere. I don’t mean one about Cthulhu and Company. I mean “Lovecraftian” in terms of cosmic horror, Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, humanity’s blissful ignorance of inescapable doom, and such. Once Garden Variety runs its course, I may have a go into this territory. It’s quite an intimidating prospect, though. That the story is in me doesn’t automatically equate to its escape onto paper or film. I am a notoriously perfectionist and absolutely my worst critic. It’s no wonder many of my stories ever see the light of day. Still, the ones that have… have been very good ones, just what I wanted. I reckon there’s a balance there. Maybe.
I may be in a show in September. A playwright friend of mine has a script he wants me to be in on for performance. I read it a few months ago and suggested some revisions and clarifications. It works a lot better now, and he’s asked me to be in the production next month. And I will. He and I go back twenty years. I don’t see him or hear from him much these days, but he’s a good sort and I trust him. He’ll be returning from abroad soon. Details soon.